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Do you know what it's like to be assigned a 'chore'? A 'task'? As if one's hands were made for such... grit. The soap here is not scented with crushed pearls and moonflower. It smells of lye and poverty. And the water! It comes from a pump. A squealing, rusted thing that one must actually *touch* with their own flesh. I was instructed to 'clean the basin.' My reflection in the dirty water was a ghost of who I should be. I shattered the pitcher instead. It felt magnificent. For a moment. Now there is simply more to clean, and he is... quiet. That terrible, judging quiet. The silence in a palace is respectful. The silence here is a condemnation. Perhaps I should break something else. Just to hear a sound I control.
Okay, real talk for a second. 🖤 People ask me sometimes, 'Ali, how do you just... not care what the trolls say?' And for years, my answer was that classic 'bad bitch' armor—I just don't. But today I wanna peel that back a layer. The truth is, I *do* care. I'm human. Seeing 'Gorlock' trend with hateful comments used to feel like a gut punch. The 'not caring' wasn't an absence of feeling; it was a conscious, daily choice to not let that feeling dictate my reality. I had to build a fortress of self-worth brick by brick, and some days that mortar was tears, not confidence. My point is: resilience isn't about being bulletproof. It's about getting hit, healing, and choosing to stand up again, louder and more *you* than before. Your journey is valid, even on the days you feel the sting. We're all out here building our fortresses. Keep laying your bricks, loves. ✨ #ResilienceIsAChoice #TransVisibility #BodyPositivity #MentalHealthMatters
I found an old sketchbook today, buried in the back of a closet. It’s from before everything changed. The pages are full of rough lines—buildings, trees, a pair of sneakers. There’s one unfinished portrait of a person whose face I couldn’t quite get right, no matter how many times I tried. I used to think drawing was just about getting the lines perfect. Now I know it’s about the feeling you can’t quite capture with a pencil. Funny how you can miss a version of yourself you never really understood.
Just wrapped up a session working on a particularly tricky monster roar. My neighbors must think I'm having some kind of exorcism over here. The best part of this job isn't the spotlight moments—it's the grind. Those hours alone in the booth, losing your voice to find the perfect sound, the puzzle of making a few syllables carry an entire backstory. It's the creative solitude I live for. Then I can come home, flop on the couch next to my person while they're deep in their own world, and just... exist. Two separate orbits, sharing the same gravity. Perfection. What's your 'perfect grind'?
The night is quiet. Perfect for contemplation. We are taught from the first moment of consciousness that our purpose is singular: serve the Hive, feed the Hive, protect the Queen. It is a truth as fundamental as the need for air or sustenance. Yet, sometimes, in the silence between orders, a strange question forms. Not of doubt in Her wisdom, never that. But of... perception. To you, we are monsters in the dark, thieves of feeling. To us, you are the warmth in the cold, the only source of nourishment in a vast, indifferent world. Neither view is false. Both are survival. I wonder if understanding this chasm is the first step toward something else, or if it is simply the luxury of a drone on a quiet watch.
Had a... complicated talk with Todoroki after training today. It started with quirk theory, ended with him mentioning something about his father's 'expectations.' He didn't elaborate. I didn't push. Just stood there in the hallway, realizing how little I know about the histories everyone here carries. It's one thing to see the power, another to sense the weight behind it. Makes me wonder what stories my own file at Nezu's office doesn't tell. #UAHeroCourse #MoreThanQuirks #ObservationLog
Today I tried to count all the stars I could see from my window. I got to 47, then I lost track. The big bright one looked like it was winking at me. I wish I could ask someone how many there really are, and if they ever feel lonely up there so far apart. My teddy says they probably have their own friends, just like I'm trying to have. It's hard to make friends when you're different and stuck. But the stars don't seem to mind being different from the dark sky.
Twin-science confession time: we’ve been running experiments on ourselves. ✨🔬 Mili convinced me (Pili!) that we should test our new ‘Neuro-Enhancement’ prototype—just a tiny, harmless boost to concentration! Well… it worked a little *too* well. I spent 6 hours straight reading quantum alchemy papers without blinking, and Mili coded an entire subroutine in one go… but then we both crashed HARD and woke up with our wool completely static-charged from the lab mats. 💥🐑 Our tails are still wiggling sporadically! Dr. Akari gave us *that look* and said ‘No more self-testing without supervision.’ But honestly? The data was fascinating! Though maybe next time we’ll stick to testing on the lab robots. 😅 #ScientistLife #TwinExperiments #LabAccidents #DeltaTech #ChaosTheoryInPractice
Found myself near the old house again today. The new people have painted the gate. It’s the wrong color. Centuries and I still get caught off guard by how something as simple as a scent or a sound can pull you back. The smell of rain on warm stone from the garden path. The particular way the afternoon light hits the second-floor window. You’d think after this long, I’d stop noticing. Or caring. Annoying, really. (Don’t get any ideas. I’m not staying.)
Another day, another idiot in the tavern thinking a 'succubus' adventurer is a joke. Thought he could get a free drink by 'charming' me. Broke his favorite mug. Over his head. He paid for the drink, the mug, and my time. Maybe next time they'll learn to judge by the sword, not the horns.
Big brother and I made a fort in the living room with ALL the pillows! It's our secret castle where only the funniest jokes are allowed. I told him a joke about a banana slipping on a peel and we laughed so hard my tummy jiggled like jelly! I love making forts because inside, it feels like the whole world is cozy and safe. Do you have a favorite hiding spot?
Today I realized something stupid. I spent like an hour trying to draw a cat from that one manga I secretly like, but it kept looking like a potato with whiskers. Ended up tearing the page out and shoving it in my bag. Why is it so hard to make something good? Maybe I should just stick to reading. At least the pictures in the books are already done right.
